Replacing Pornography With Tantra
If pornography is an issue in your life or your relationship, introducing yourself to Tantra (these links are to another of our secure websites) is a powerful pathway in significantly reducing your un healthy porn attraction.There is on such thing as Porn addiction, porn simply validates our sexual natures….
Because sex is everywhere and such a huge part of who we are, making watching porn wrong indirectly makes our sexuality and sense of self wrong. Because of its power, sexual images pervade all types of media as a reliable attention grabber for slick marketing programs, used to sell everything from cars to ice creams. As a result, sex seems like it should be freely accessible to all of us and porn makes it possible at the click of an icon or two.
Porn is targeted at Men’s Sexual Desire
Porn is mostly targeted at men’s natural and essential desire for sex, at their sexual vulnerability, their fantasy attraction to a particular type of sexual partner-the shape of their bodies, curves and particularly the look and feel of feminine sexuality, and choice of sexual style. It’s also reliable, without the fear, or reality, of rejection, something sex in the real world is definitely not! It gives men a place to indulge their desire for sexual variety without risking their relationships.
Porn is a visual medium
Because porn is something that we watch, it’s focussed on the visual- the nakedness, the wet pussies and hard cocks, the penetrating, thrusting, ejaculating, squirting action of sex, with a never ending variety of partners, positions and locations.
Porn portrays unrealistic sex
In real life women are not effortlessly wet, men are not permanently hard (at least not without Viagra) and thrusting doesn’t need to be continually hard for pleasure to be had. In fact, a man does not even need to be hard at all to have a full bodied orgasm. Truly satisfying sex, as in Tantric sex, comes from how it feels rather than how it looks. In fact when it’s really good, we don’t give a damn about how it looks! In fact, Tantra is pretty boring as a visual medium as the action is more internal… Tantra teaches us that there is incredible pleasure, and satisfying connection to be found in the slower moments as much as the active ones. Especially if you consciously deep breathe, which is not something you’ll see actors doing in mainstream porn…Porn is Luring People into Abusive Relationships
Mainstream Porn has become a common form of sex education, but without the added understanding of what happens in real relationships, it’s leaving people, especially the young, more at risk of the negative impacts of porn.
Porn Creates a Fantasy of Sexual desire
Porn creates a fantasy of fulfilled sexual desire, enticing with its easy access and its privacy, particularly when the watcher doesn’t have to deal with any messy emotional crap, leaving him thinking this is how all sex should be- instant gratification with little effort or emotion. This will piss off most women, and rightly so. Many men struggle with the emotional intensity of relationship. But, it is important to understand that men are highly capable of emotional work with the right motivation (truly fulfilling sex).Is Romance Porn for Women?
If as a woman, you’re feeling the hackles on your neck standing up at this image of a man taking the easy way out, take a moment to see things from his
Porn is an easy place to dump our stuff…
A man can get many of his sexual needs met and avoid his sexual and emotional insecurities by using porn. The opposite happens for a woman- it readily activates hers. Yet if you take a look at what is underlying the obvious, it’s possible to see that the porn is merely the trigger, rather than the cause of the problems. Because a sexually healthy man can use porn for occasional titillation and that’s that. A sexually healthy woman knows her man will never get it better than he does with her and is not threatened by it.
You can beat your porn addiction with Tantra
Problems occur when porn is used as an avoidance of dealing with other areas of your life. This is incredibly frustrating for both and can increase the man’s feelings of shame and inadequacy, impacting on his partners self esteem as well. Understanding this is crucial in getting to the bottom of what is really happening, because simply focusing on porn will most likely shame the watcher and only add to their already exisiting levels of avoidance. Partners usually feel a mixture of frustration, shame, fear and abandonment if their partner is a habitual porn user.
Oztantra specialises in refocusing your relationship and learning how to beat porn.
Our Oztantra online Relationship course, couples Retreat or sexuality of the heart workshop will support you in moving past addiction to porn and into something more rewarding.Learning Tantra is the opposite to porn
At Oztantra, we believe the most effective method for dealing with the negatives of porn is in creating your own healthy alternative, a healthy sexual relationship, starting firstly with yourself. When this happens, your desire for porn is greatly reduced or may even disappear. There is no substitute for the real thing, and when real sexuality is part of your life, porn is relegated to the occasional place where it belongs. This is one of the fringe benefits of tantra, that accessing the greatly enhanced sexual pleasure that is possible for men requires clarity in heart connection with himself. How this appears from the outside for men, is Pornography significantly reduces the watchers ability to feel their sexual pleasure, and is why addiction creeps in, as porn requires more and more use as it becomes even less fulfilling. If you want to find out more, a simple skype session will definitely get you started.Embodied Tantra can heal porn addiction, because tantra for men is heart connection
A foundation aspect of Tantra for men is in opening and validating his open heart connection. This is crucial in moving past porn addiction, as his open heart connection with himself rather than the screen, is his pathway to opening up his pleasure pathway.
Healthy Sexuality Overpowers Desire for Porn
It is important to develop a program to get off porn, either by yourself or with help, but most importantly this program needs to work with your sexual desire rather than against it. Pressure on any one who watches porn is intensely shaming and most men respond in squashing their feelings of sexual desire by going into shame. If in doubt, get support for yourself. Creating healthy sexual desire is crucial for a man to live a happy and fulfilling life, especially if he wants to be in a relationship long term.Healthy Man brings heart into the bedroom
Understanding the following concept is crucial in reversing the grip that porn can exert and in creating your own healthy alternative. This concept is that in a happy, healthy sexual relationship, the masculine brings his open heart while the feminine brings her open sexuality. This is a powerful understanding that may be challenging for some to grasp. Yet simply ask yourself what does a woman most desire from her man, and what does a man most desire from his woman? Putting porn into the middle creates chaos in this dynamic as it takes a man away from his heart and locks a woman into a limited way of being sexual. If porn is an issue in your life, simply recognizing and treating porn as a result of a deeper challenge is a healthy beginning. If you’re a woman, and the man in your life watches porn, validating his desire to feel and